Poetry!!!

Building on my last blog where Joseph Ramirez requested to see some of my writing. First time sharing my poetry publically, actually... hopefully it's as good as I think it is.

I like writing in whimsical-sounding meters. They almost all have a certain bounce and light-heartedness to them, even the darker, sadder poems. They're also all very, very simple. Enjoy!

"Had I Been a Boy" (ps, never heard Beyonce's song when I wrote this!!)

Had I been a boy,
I wouldn't have any frills
My clothes would be all made
to take my childish spills.

As a girl I would be silly
to use a magnifying glass
To spy upon a little ant
and burn his little ass

And had I been a boy,
I need not hitch up my skirt
when climbing up a tree, you see
in pants it's hardly work!

Had I been a boy,
I need not sneak away
to cut my bothersome pigtails off,
and hide there for a day.

Had I been a boy,
I'd try harder not to cry
If the boys would call me sissy,
I would rather die!

But dearest, dearest darling!
Oh please hear this:
Had I been a boy instead,
I'd miss your loving kiss.

But had I been a boy,
and acted tenderly,
I might have gotten all the luck
And found a girl like me!

My Ugly Baby

I'm a jack-of-all-trades kind of artist. I love drawing, acting, writing, and of course singing and playing music. The problem I find myself struggling with today is musing over how I approach writing. Over the years, I've written lots of short stories and attempted many books. I've even written a few poems. But one piece of work that I've created always stands out when it comes to my writing: my play, 'Knights of Dragonshire.'

I wrote this in high school, and even had it performed a couple times. Since then I've re-written it, scrapped the re-written version completely, then have recently re-re-written it. And yet... I read through it, and I get mixed feelings. This play, to me, is like having an ugly baby. I love my baby, I know my baby intimately. And yet I know I'm too close to see its flaws. I know it has flaws, but I don't know how to fix them.

For some reason I began reading over it today (procrastinating on other things), and I think I've finally found myself bored with it. I'm tired of trying to improve it. It's good, but just not good enough. I'm trying to develop a new story to write, which is going okay, but I'd really like to just put "Dragonshire" to rest first. But I don't know if I can... it's not what I want it to be. And yet I don't know what's missing. It's mostly just fun characters. The story is pretty straightforward, but it's got quite a few "filler" scenes that I wish I knew how to improve. And then... oh, the over-explanation of things... how do you create a new world without over-explaining everything?

I'm sure there are plenty of artists of all kinds who get what I'm talking about. Do you have any "ugly babies?" If so, how do you deal with them?

The Dangers of Pop Stars

I'll admit right now, I'm a total sucker for pop music...

... and I'm relieved that a pop star has finally called herself what she truly is:

Pop Stars are monsters. They consume all that lay in their path. And what's scary is that those who throw themselves on said path are young, impressionable girls. Whatever these people put out there, little girls are sucked into it like moths to a flame.

Funny enough I wasn't one of these girls who got sucked into it. By the time Spice Girls and Hanson came and went, I was done. I hated N*Sync, Britney Spears, the whole lot of them. I was into musicals, and when I got to high school I was listening to bands like Counting Crows, Modest Mouse, and the Decemberists religiously. And then... Ke$ha happened to me.

"Is my love your drug?"

Starting late in college, I started tuning into the pop stations, and I was surprised to find I liked what I heard. I found myself drawn mostly to the girls. I fell in love with Gwen Stefani. Fergie dazzled me. Ke$ha was adorable... in her own drunk, crass way. It was a whole new world. Then Lady Gaga came into my life.

I actually kept up my own Poker Face for a long while, not admitting I secretly adored her. She's eccentric, she's beautiful, she's not afraid to both have fun and be talented. I finally broke and admitted to the world that I enjoy the heck out of female pop songs, with some help from the Nostalgia Chick.

But after talking with a mommy of a teenage girl about my love for Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, she got me to thinking about those mommy ears again... it got me thinking, "how would I feel about these artists when thinking about young girls?"

So I started listening to these songs with the ears of a mother of an 11-15 year old daughter. I've ranked them on a scale 1 to 10 (10 being "listen to more!" and 1 being "I will destroy any CD of theirs that comes into this house") on whether I would approve of them listening to said pop star. Please note I am sticking with what's on the radio now (or at least what I've been hearing lately)... otherwise we'll be here all night. So here we go!! Note: I've gotten a few comments that my ratings aren't fitting the text, so I'm changing a few (5/23/12).

Adele: 7
Like I mentioned before, I think Adele is superb, even if I don't care for her music personally. She's a real artist putting out real music with real passion. Her lyrics are poetic and clean of anything really objectionable. The only thing I'd raise concern over is her that she has yet to put out a positive (happy, in love, empowering, etc) song. They're all about being angry or brokenhearted. So I'd encourage young ladies to take a listen, but to throw something a little more happy in there once in a while. I also have mixed feelings about her best-known quote here. I love that she embraces herself for who she is and doesn't care what people think. However I also think it's important to both embrace who you are and take care of yourself at the same time.

Katy Perry: 3

Katy Perry knows how to put out a hit. It's brainless ... very brainless... fun, for the most part. But songs about parties, drunkenly making out, sweetly singing about teen sex? It's all that stuff that you don't exactly want being encouraged in young girls. She's got "Firework," but that just tells us stuff everyone's  already heard. Don't feel lonely! Believe in yourself!  A penny saved is a penny earned! So I'm not sure it can redeem the rest of her messages. Not a role model by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess her songs would be okay to listen to... as long as you know not to follow her lead.

Kelly Clarkson: 9

I don't know how she made a hit out of stringing together common phrases, but she did! Okay, I'll admit I like it. Fun to sing when you're pumping yourself up for something; it's like a girly "Eye of the Tiger". I have nothing to object to here, except for a lack in any real new material and any real substance... she gets a 9 simply from a lack of... anything... that's why she doesn't get a 10.

Ke$ha: 2

Argh, this woman is vile. And I love it, I think she's funny and creative.  I also think she's a truly, truly awful role model for young girls.  She's like if the show "Jackass" magically turned into a pop singer. Things to learn from Ke$ha: party in dark clubs and get slobbering drunk, objectify men, and never, ever, ever shower.

Lady Gaga: 7

OMGZ LADY GAGA!!
Her music has so much good stuff in it. Her songs are honest and real. She sings about being in love, in going over the edge, in staying true to yourself. She's also the only pop star in a long time to mention God, and in a positive light at that! She has common themes about sex, but she's not blatant about it. She can be really nutty sometimes, but there's no real harm in that. She tells girls to be themselves, and then she walks the walk.

Nicki Minaj: 2

I'm actually a big fan of hers. I love that we've got a girl rapper who really knows her stuff. She's excellent at wordplay and knowing how to mix rapping and music. As far as whether she's appropriate for young audiences well... if you hear what they put on the radio, the themes in her music are typical of pop songs today. Let's party, let's have a good time, let's flirt, yada yada yada. But then... you hear the original versions. Or what's NOT on the radio. She uses chalk full of adult language and themes. So while I would encourage listening to what she puts out on the radio, going beyond that with younger audiences should be discouraged.

Rihanna: 3
Out of all of these, this is the hardest for me to think of the music separate from the person. With the release of "Umbrella," she set herself to be pretty sweet and innocent. She soon went the way of the Britney and included more adult themes. I like her music okay. She's got some really good ones out there. But... what brings down her rating for me is actually her releasing "S&M." Normally I'd be cool with this type of song, but after going through such horrendous domestic abuse? You'd think she would've avoided a song about pain and pleasure. It gives ammo to those who argue that victims of abuse "get what they're asking for," which is totally and completely wrong.

Taylor Swift: 4

What?! Sweet little Taylor Swift gets 4?!!!

Yes, that's right. You won't get alcohol poisoning or something like some of the others (which is why she still gets a 5), but talk about leading girls astray! Songs about sneaking behind your parent's back, getting married in your teens, and going out with someone that no one likes? Well guess what? Chances are they don't like him for a reason. She goes beyond wearing rose-color glasses. She's wearing freaking blinders.  And the problem is that kids aren't warned about these things normally. They're told about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and sex. But blind teenage love? Last time I checked there's no M.A.D.E. (Mothers Against Dumb Engagements) or Love Education classes.

So there you have it! That's my rating on today's pop stars safety level in the hands of young teenage girls. Agree? Disagree? What would your ranking be? Let me know!

Song Lyrics Rewrite #2

Remember "Moves Like Jagger"? Aren't you glad that's not playing on the radio anymore?... actually it makes me kind of sad... kind of.


The lyrics always sounded confused to me. Is he trying to impress me with how he moves like a famously terrible dancer? Or is it trying to be tongue-and-cheek? Is he trying to hit on a girl, or convince someone he's more than he is.


For me, this song has always been only a few lyric changes away from being about putting yourself on the line and hoping to God you're as good as you hoped. Whether you're nervous about a job interview, an audition, or asking someone out, we all feel like this from time to time. I also have changed it from "Moves Like Jagger" to "Moves Like Jackson". You know, someone who actually has... moves... enjoy!

Original "Moves Like Jagger"

"Moves Like Jackson"

I shoot for the stars
Cuz it feels right
Please aim for my heart
If you feel like
And take me away and make it OK
I swear I'll behave

You wanted control
So I waited
I put on a show
Now I made it
You say I'm a kid
My ego is big
See I’m ready to live
And it goes like this

[Chorus:]
Take me by my tie
And I'll know you
Come give me a chance
And I'll show you

All the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

I’ll give all control up to you
Look into my eyes and I'll show you

With the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

[Verse 2:]
Baby it's hard
When I feel like I’m broken and scarred
Nothing feels right
But when you're with me
You make me believe
That I've got the key

(Oh!) I’ll get in the car
We can ride it
Wherever you want
I’m inside it
You want me to steer

But you’re shifting gears
I'll take it from here
And it goes like this

[Chorus:]
Take me by my tie
And I'll know you
Come give me a chance
And I'll show you

All the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

I’ll give control to you
Look into my eyes and I'll show you

With the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

Everybody's a Genius... or Are They?

WARNING: This post has politically incorrect statements. You've been warned.

I was browsing failblog.org, when I came across this graph. According to Failblog, "Several years ago, a grad student at CalTech used Facebook data to gather the top 10 artists at various colleges and graphed it with CollegeBoard’s information on students’ average SAT scores at each college... The result doesn't really tell us much (correlation ≠ causation, the inherent Eurocentrism of the SATs, bullsh*t measurements of intelligence), but it’s very very trollworthy."

I will reiterate that correlation does not mean causation, but at a subjective viewpoint this does make sense. Based on simple stereotypes, we can give a brief look at this and say, "Yup, looks about right." After all, we're generally going to believe someone who listens to Beethoven to be more intelligent than someone who listens to Lil' Wayne (as I discussed in my first blog post here). But here's a question that haunts humanity time and time again... are our methods of measuring intelligence really that accurate? I argue no.

To quote Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this quote is test-taking. Those who are good test takers are considered intelligent, while those who aren't are... not. I can't help but be shocked every time I come across teachers/aids/etc. talking about a child with autism and saying, "oh, he's so brilliant!" Why? Because children with autism are generally terrible at learning in conventional ways and taking written tests, people expect them to be stupid. They expect them to be unable to read, to memorize things, to understand simple concepts. But the truth of it is, most of them are of average intelligence. It's just people's expectations of them were so low that they seem brilliant by comparison.

I know that sounds like a contradiction to title this "everybody's a genius" and then talk about how most people are average. But if I may draw a somewhat difficult conclusion based on what Einstein said, I would say this: Everybody is of average intelligence. It's just we're brilliant in different ways, which means that everybody's also stupid in different ways, which means that we're all average. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just wish we could see people for what they really are: we all have shortcomings, but also all have marvelous talents and abilities.


I may listen to Beethoven or Wagner or Mozart and tell you about how Beethoven shaped how we listen to music today, the use of motifs in an opera, to explain the structure behind a concerto and why it is structured in that manner. I've also long given up on being able to balancing a checkbook. Adam builds intricate computer projects that I couldn't even begin to understand, to program software with grace and mastery. But God bless him, he can't carry a tune in a bucket (although in his defense he's gotten much better). Did I mention he listens to country (see graph)?

Maybe this is just my way of getting back at all those tests I performed so terribly in, then getting annoyed at people calling me brilliant for being able to memorize movies and lyrics or being stunned at my creativity. I used to think, "Can the world not make up their mind on whether or not I'm intelligent?" Truth is, no, no it can't. So embrace the fact that you're average, because you're still unique.