What I've Learned as a Therapist

A lot has happened these last few weeks. I've wrapped up my first school year as a music therapist, started Extended School Year, took a trip to North Carolina, and (what's made the last couple weeks the hardest) had a family member pass away. In my attempts at avoiding putting on too much personal information on this blog, that's all I care to say here.

Something I would like to discuss here is something I've been thinking about lately. I've been reflecting on this past year quite a bit, what with coming up on my first year anniversary as a music therapist. I've found that there are some things you simply can't learn in school and internships. Scheduling, talking with parents, etc., are things that they briefly touch on, but it's definitely something that needs hands-on experience. I've thought about things that I'd would tell a new therapist, as well as what I would tell parents whose children are receiving various services.

To Therapists:

5) Recycle materials, without losing focus on the clients. I've found that one song can be used for a dozen different types of goals, but every intervention or song has its limits on what it can do. Also remember what songs you've used with which clients. Nothing is more embarrassing and frustrating than starting a song and having the client say, "We've done this already," and then having nothing else prepared.

4) Put yourselves in their shoes. This means not only thinking, "What would I do in their situation?" or "How would I want to be treated?" Go beyond that. Morph yourself into the perfect therapist for each and every individual as best you can. This will change how you approach communicating important things from one person to another, from something as simple as briefing them on how the session went to something as hard as recommending to discontinue services.

3) With families or clients that are difficult to work with, remember you only see them for a small portion of time during your week. Make the most of that time, and then leave whatever crap they throw at you (literally and figuratively!) when you leave.

2) Appreciate good feedback and wonderful families. These moments are gold. Allow yourself to bask in the praise. Share these stories with friends. This will carry you through times with more negative families.

1) Be flexible. If you want a predictable, orderly type of job, never become a therapist. In both scheduling with parents and working with clients, remember that things will rarely go as planned. Don't abandon your sanity completely, just remember to keep priorities in mind and it's not the end of the world if something goes wrong.

To Parents:

5) Remember that I'm not your therapist; I'm your child's therapist. I understand that sometimes you need an ear, so if you need to talk about something on your mind that's not about the session, I'll listen. But if you keep me 20 minutes after a 30 minute session complaining about work every session, I'm going to get a bit miffed. You'll find that I'll start skipping out the door pretty quickly.

4) Find a balance between "over-involved" and "uninterested." I don't know which one is more annoying. Parents constantly prompting their child during the session or parents who acknowledge me about as much as they acknowledge their furniture. You hired me for a reason. Let me do my job, but also allow me to give you information you might use... and fill me in on things that could help me, too!

3) Don't be afraid to do what we do in the sessions outside the sessions. Whether you read the notes or get a chance to observe/over-hear the session, you are more than welcome to use any of the tools from my toolbox. The more your child is exposed to something, the better they will learn it. If you want guidance in how to do a particular intervention, don't hesitate to ask. Remember that my job is to put myself out of the job!

2) Give us at least 24 hours before cancelling or rescheduling a session. We understand that things get hectic, but with travelling, not cancelling in a timely manner can mean wasted time and money on our part. If you do last minute cancellations every once in a while, that's understandable, but if you cancel too often, you'll find yourself being charged for sessions that didn't happen more and more frequently too.

1) A little kindness goes a long way. The best example is I have one mom who sometimes makes me tea during the session. She always listens intently to my ideas for goals for her child (no matter how crazy they are), and gives me great information on how the client is doing in school and at home. She also is one who makes the most requests for changes in how I do the session, but I always gladly bend over backwards for her because she's so fantastic. Be that parent. You'll get so much more out of sessions.