My Top Ten Robots

It's MY blog, so I'll talk about robots if I want to!!

It's no secret that I love robots. So today, I'm going to share with you some of my favorite robots (in film/television/literature/media etc, not actual useful robots). Some you may know, some you may not, some don't even have names. I think the reason why I love robots so much is because they're oftentimes presented as child-like, curious, and yet very intelligent with new ideas to present to their often stuck-in-their-ways, jaded human counterparts. So here, I've listed my top 10 robots, ranked based on level of cuteness. Because robots are cute.

10) 'We're in Business' Robot

Great song, and I do think this robot is great... he's just not cute enough...

9) Light-Bot

This is a game to which Adam introduced me to apparently teach basics on programming. I actually did quite well. I think that's mostly because I was so enamored with the adorable robot. Play here!

8) This Sad Robot: 

Click here. Now squee and feel sorry for this poor, sad robot.

7) The Hardee's Robot

He's so cute and sad and adorable!!!! Poor robot wants to eat the chicken sandwich. Note: there's a longer version of this commercial where he gets angry and uses his laser eyes. But laser eyes, while occasionally cute, are not as cute as sulking.

6) Data from 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'

Ok, so technically Data's an android (which is a subcategory of robots), and he's not constantly adorable like many others on this list. But he's definitely charming in his child-like innocence and curiosity. Enjoy this video of him learning to dance.

5) The Tin Woodsman from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

The Tin Woodsman has had many reincarnations over the years, but of course my favorite is from the original book. Just look how cute he is in the original illustration! One of my favorite parts in the book is when he steps on an ant by accident and cries to the point of rusting. He then makes special care to avoid stepping on any more bugs. Awwww!!

4) Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.

Johnny 5 is the first robot that I fell in love with. Whenever I felt down, I watched this movie and felt instantly better. Like Data, he has child-like innocence and curiosity. "Need input, Stephanie!"

3) R2-D2 from Star Wars.

If you don't know who this is, seriously, where have you been?! To prove how adorable he is, here's a video of him dancing with a baby. I think we can all agree that R2 is at a superior level of cuteness.

2) Wall-E from Wall-E.

When I first saw the trailer, all I could think was, "CUTE OVERLOAD! CUTE OVERLOAD!" According to Adam who was with me in the movie theatre, apparently I was giggling uncontrollably. Obviously Johnny 5's little brother.

1) GIR from 'Invader Zim.'

I'm often compared to GIR. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I usually take it as a compliment, meaning that, while often dysfunctional and random, I'm really, really freaking cute.

So there you have it! The cutest, bestest robots ever! Tell me about YOUR favorite robots in film, television, and literature!

If This Guitar Could Talk...

Looking at the guitar I've had since I first started playing, counting the nicks and scrapes, I began thinking... "What would this guitar say if it could speak?" Probably something like this...

I'm a well-made guitar. My express purpose was to be something middle-ground: well-crafted for an experienced player, but affordable enough for a beginner. I was crafted by Ibanez to produce a traditional as well as a modern guitar. Technology moves forward at a frantic pace and the world of guitar craftsmanship is no different. I was made to respect the rich tradition of the acoustic guitar while adding modern interpretations. I am a proud specimen of this.

Naturally when I was first created I had hopes of being in a band, of travelling, of being the next star of Nashville. Those dreams were short-lived when I was bought by an aspiring musician who spent more than he could afford on all the bells and whistles, took me home, and soon gave up on learning guitar. I collected dust in my barely-touched hard case for a few years before he sold me to a local music store. What originally had cost him over $300 was now being sold all together for $150.

I accepted my faith to collecting dust rather than memories when a young girl in high school excitedly bought me. She knew nothing about playing the guitar, saying she had a friend that would teach her to play. I prepared myself for a few more years of being forgotten. But then, I was pleasantly surprised to find that she did learn to play from her friend. She then continued to teach herself in the first few months, playing Bible School songs hesitantly. Her strumming was to be in want, but she learned quickly how to create chords and making a clear, resonating sound. I thought I had had my fill of "Our God is an Awesome God" when I found out why: I was going to play for kids at a Summer Camp. Apparently she had started learning guitar after being asked in a job interview for music director, "can you play guitar?" To which she replied, "No, but I can learn!" 

And so, every week for an entire summer, I was surrounded by excited children, being led in song and dance by this young girl. I was carried constantly outside in the sweltering heat to inside a freezing worship hall. Thankfully I'm a hearty instrument, but I would object on occasion. I did my best to give it my all, though. This girl was always so passionate about singing and playing with the campers, and I led them all in worship with my upbeat music. Then come the weekend, she kept playing with me, practicing whenever she could for as long as her blistering fingers could stand.

It wasn't the path I was expecting, but I found it incredibly fulfilling. Naturally I was excited to find out that my journey didn't stop at the summer camp: she was going to study Music Therapy, where she would continued to learn to play guitar. It was here that she did her best to buckle down and learn as much as she could. With the help of professors, private teachers, and friends, she improved day by day, month by month, semester by semester.

She took me to all sorts of places for school. I have sung everything from "A Little Help from My Friends", to "Creep", to "My Wild Irish Rose", to "Old Mac Donald". I've been excitedly strummed by children and led self-conscious adults in singing beautiful music together.

After four years of school and a year of internship, she became a music therapist herself. Now I spend most of my days visiting homes with family members on the autism spectrum. From ages 5 up to 25, everyone seems to love when I step out of my guitar. Maybe I'm not strummed gently always, or I get bumped and scraped when the therapist has to reach for something quick. It's not glamorous work, but when I see how I'm helping people with my art, I realize I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Why Breakup Songs are the Best

As I mentioned in an earlier post (way earlier, since I haven't written a blog in over a month), one of my favorite albums is 'Chutes Too Narrow' by the Shins. It's an album beautifully put together, and the majority of the songs are Breakup songs. And then, the ones that aren't are about gathering strength and courage and other things related to breaking up.

I'm realizing more and more what a sucker I am for break up songs. I had a hard time figuring it out for a while though, since I had only gone through a breakup once in my life ever. So while I can relate, not all breakup songs are ones I directly relate to. However, here's what I've found I love about them: love songs (for the most part) are just too happy. So if it's a song about love, I like songs about the heartache. They feel much deeper. You get a real glimpse into the soul of the singer, and oftentimes you can see fractures of your reflection back. Sad songs are an opportunity to become more intimate with yourself.

Since Breakup songs are the most common sad song out there, they're ones I noticed this pattern with first. Here are some favorite Breakup songs of mine:

"Pink Bullets" by the Shins

"Me After You" by AG

"Getting/Needing" by OK Go (bonus since it's an awesome video)

"The Jeep Song" by Dresden Dolls (song starts at 1:17, although the intro is pretty fun)

Hmmm... speaking of Dresden Dolls, they have a lot of Sad and Angry songs that are truly unique. Maybe I'll write a post about them... stay tuned!

Enjoy a little heartache, and tell me your favorite breakup song!!

Misinterpreted Lyrics

Have you ever heard a song, and you know what the intent was, but your mind goes a completely different place? And I don't mean just being "dirty minded". Like your mind takes what they're saying literal, or it just interprets it in a bizarre way.

Here's one of mine:

Chorus to Neon Trees' "Animal":

"Oh oh, I want some more
Oh oh, what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight
Oh oh, I want some more
Oh oh, what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight"

What I keep thinking of...

Anyone else???

Old vs. New

We are society that is always trying to compare things to one another. We compare the movie to its original book, we compare brand name products to generics, we even compare people (think "looks like his father, but he has his mother's eyes").

What I've been noticing is a lot of resurfacing of musical styles. I can't speak for previous generations, but it seems like we're not coming up with anything new right now. Instead of Lady Gaga, fun., and One Direction, sometimes I think I'm listening to Madonna, Queen, and N*Sync. But then I have to wonder: is that something I'm happy for, or sad for? Or should I just roll with it? Well, since the last one wouldn't made much of a post, let's go through pros and cons:


Recycling Music: PROS
1) Using what we know works
2) Improving on what we know works
3) Introducing old music to a new generation
4)  I can always listen to older music as well as new: variety!
5) Sounding like a hipster when talking about who the latest artist "stole from."


Recycling Music: CONS
1) If it ain't broke, don't fix it
2) Taking concepts from previous songs and making it suck
3) Songs are getting progressively shorter, along with attention spans of the new generation
4) Sure older music is available, but they're not playing on the radio
5) Sounding like an old lady when talking about how "music isn't like how it used to be."


And now, for the video that got me thinking about this topic

Epic Rap Battles of History: Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven (and Beethoven wins)

What I love about this one: I don't know if they actually studied up on Beethoven for the video (I'm sure they did), but they did an awesome job of recreating Beethoven's personality. I can totally hear him saying, "I'm Beethoven Mother f*cker, maybe you've heard of me!"

All-Time Favoritetest Albums Evarrrr

Have you ever fallen in love with an artist or a song and then thought, "Hey, this song is great! I will buy its album now," and then been horribly disappointed? Yeah, me too. All. The. Time. I think that's why iTunes and similar things have become so popular, because people are tired of buying an entire album for one song.

But you know, I don't think it's because the rest of the music is bad. I think it's because it's an art all in itself to put an album together. Most albums I just skip to my favorites... but there's a select few that if I want to listen to one song on an album, I have to listen to the whole thing. It's like watching a film or reading a book for me: sure you can skip to the part you want, but it's so much better to see it in its entirety. 

You'll probably notice that the list consists of only two genres: Alternative and Classic Rock. I don't know if that's because those are my two favorite genres or because people who play music from these genres are more careful with putting their albums together. I'd appreciate recommendations on other well put-together albums from other genres to broaden my horizons.

So here's my very specific, very personal list of favorite albums:

1) Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

This is my favorite album of all time.  This album is so beautiful in its entirety. You can't truly appreciate the beauty of the title track without hearing the rest of the songs leading up to it. The rest of the music is overwhelming, with electronic music and sounds, and lyrics about giving into selling out and giving in to whatever temptations surrounding you. And then the acoustic guitar comes in, with its simple, beautiful vocals... and in three, beautiful verses, they get you to realize how much you've given into the Machine.

2) The Moon & Antarctica by Modest Mouse

Modest Mouse is THE band in my mind. It was love at first sound wave. This album is very similar to "Wish You Were Here", I think... (or maybe it reminds of me of it because the album covers are similar)... except longer... and I'm not quite sure what their message is. But by God they have a message... I think. I've listened to this album a million times trying and tried to figure out what their message is. Something about how huge the universe is? How unfair life is? How this girl ruined his life? All of them? Well, you'll just have to give it a listen. "The universe is shaped exactly like the earth: if you go straight along enough, you'll end up where you were."

3) Funeral by Arcade Fire

Arcade Fire is one of my all time favorite bands. They have an original sound I've never heard anywhere else. The best way I can describe them is that a rock band decided to invade an orchestra pit. Listening to the whole album holds the same feeling of listening to a symphony: they explore a variety of sounds a feelings, all of which are powerful and inspiring in their own way.

4) Chutes Too Narrow by the Shins

This album takes a simple formula: alternate "empowering" tracks with "break up" tracks and done! You've struck gold. I love every song on this album, and I don't think I would if it weren't for how they put it together. It gently carries you from one emotion to another. And then, the last track slowly brings you back and centers you with its slow, simple finger-picking.

5) Songs from an American Movie, Part I by Everclear

I think this one is tied to nostalgia much more than the others. Very well put together, and I can't ever listen to only one song on this album; I've got to listen to the whole thing. It tells a very linear story of a man going through a divorce and the repercussions of that with his daughter (remember "Wonderful" from forever ago on the radio? That was this album). What makes this one personal for me is that it was my "gateway drug" album in a lot of ways. Sure I had music before, but Everclear was the first band I really ever connected with, and for a long time was my default on what made a band and what made it good.

Honorable Mentions:

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles

The Soft Bulletin by the Flaming Lips

A Night at the Opera by Queen

Manners by Passion Pit

My Steampunk Journey

As far as literature goes, so far all I've done since the last time I wrote about Steampunk was get "The Difference Machine" from the library, take it back, then put it on hold again, then forget about it until they took it off hold.

However, with music, I've (of course) gotten much more engrossed. I've found that many bands are considered "Steampunk" that may not consider themselves part of the genre. My list of artists from this genre has grown a little from when I first mentioned it, and I've definitely formulated some favorites:

8. Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire
7. Hazmat Modine (Warning: "Bahamut" might make your brain explode from the awesomeness)
6. Humanwine
5. Rasputina
4. Emma Wallace
3. Vermillion Lies
2. Dr. Steel (2nd favorite for sure)

But most importantly... drum roll please... 1. Jill Tracy!!! Such a fan now.

"The Fine Art of Poisoning" by Jill Tracy

PS: Have I mentioned the local community theatre is performing a Steampunk Sweeney Todd? And I'm going to be in the chorus? And yes, you are correct, that is the coolest thing ever.

The Britney Phenomena

I'm about two months late apparently talking about this. In April, Heather Bright, one of Britney Spear's songwriters spoke up for our favorite blonde mess. Spears allegedly took no co-writing credit for her latest album, 'Femme Fatale.' And to sum it up, Bright said, good for you, Britney! She goes on to talk about that most pop stars DON'T write their own music and that Spears deserves credit for not taking credit, unlike many others who do.

THAT SAID...

I'm amazed at how "meh" Britney Spears is. At this point, she's mostly famous for being a car crash of a human being (I think we should leave her alone, too... along with all the other hot messes in Hollywood and such). She can't sing, but she can entertain. Her music is... meh... until you hear covers of her music. And then, something happens. Then you realize, her music isn't meant to be performed by a pop singer. Her music is for ROCK STARS!

Don't believe me? Take a listen to just a few Britney Spears covers. You'll be singing "Hit Me Baby" with new passion:

All American Rejects sing "Womanizer"

Static Lullaby sings "Toxic"

Marty Casey sings "Hit Me Baby

What I've Learned as a Therapist

A lot has happened these last few weeks. I've wrapped up my first school year as a music therapist, started Extended School Year, took a trip to North Carolina, and (what's made the last couple weeks the hardest) had a family member pass away. In my attempts at avoiding putting on too much personal information on this blog, that's all I care to say here.

Something I would like to discuss here is something I've been thinking about lately. I've been reflecting on this past year quite a bit, what with coming up on my first year anniversary as a music therapist. I've found that there are some things you simply can't learn in school and internships. Scheduling, talking with parents, etc., are things that they briefly touch on, but it's definitely something that needs hands-on experience. I've thought about things that I'd would tell a new therapist, as well as what I would tell parents whose children are receiving various services.

To Therapists:

5) Recycle materials, without losing focus on the clients. I've found that one song can be used for a dozen different types of goals, but every intervention or song has its limits on what it can do. Also remember what songs you've used with which clients. Nothing is more embarrassing and frustrating than starting a song and having the client say, "We've done this already," and then having nothing else prepared.

4) Put yourselves in their shoes. This means not only thinking, "What would I do in their situation?" or "How would I want to be treated?" Go beyond that. Morph yourself into the perfect therapist for each and every individual as best you can. This will change how you approach communicating important things from one person to another, from something as simple as briefing them on how the session went to something as hard as recommending to discontinue services.

3) With families or clients that are difficult to work with, remember you only see them for a small portion of time during your week. Make the most of that time, and then leave whatever crap they throw at you (literally and figuratively!) when you leave.

2) Appreciate good feedback and wonderful families. These moments are gold. Allow yourself to bask in the praise. Share these stories with friends. This will carry you through times with more negative families.

1) Be flexible. If you want a predictable, orderly type of job, never become a therapist. In both scheduling with parents and working with clients, remember that things will rarely go as planned. Don't abandon your sanity completely, just remember to keep priorities in mind and it's not the end of the world if something goes wrong.

To Parents:

5) Remember that I'm not your therapist; I'm your child's therapist. I understand that sometimes you need an ear, so if you need to talk about something on your mind that's not about the session, I'll listen. But if you keep me 20 minutes after a 30 minute session complaining about work every session, I'm going to get a bit miffed. You'll find that I'll start skipping out the door pretty quickly.

4) Find a balance between "over-involved" and "uninterested." I don't know which one is more annoying. Parents constantly prompting their child during the session or parents who acknowledge me about as much as they acknowledge their furniture. You hired me for a reason. Let me do my job, but also allow me to give you information you might use... and fill me in on things that could help me, too!

3) Don't be afraid to do what we do in the sessions outside the sessions. Whether you read the notes or get a chance to observe/over-hear the session, you are more than welcome to use any of the tools from my toolbox. The more your child is exposed to something, the better they will learn it. If you want guidance in how to do a particular intervention, don't hesitate to ask. Remember that my job is to put myself out of the job!

2) Give us at least 24 hours before cancelling or rescheduling a session. We understand that things get hectic, but with travelling, not cancelling in a timely manner can mean wasted time and money on our part. If you do last minute cancellations every once in a while, that's understandable, but if you cancel too often, you'll find yourself being charged for sessions that didn't happen more and more frequently too.

1) A little kindness goes a long way. The best example is I have one mom who sometimes makes me tea during the session. She always listens intently to my ideas for goals for her child (no matter how crazy they are), and gives me great information on how the client is doing in school and at home. She also is one who makes the most requests for changes in how I do the session, but I always gladly bend over backwards for her because she's so fantastic. Be that parent. You'll get so much more out of sessions.

Poetry!!!

Building on my last blog where Joseph Ramirez requested to see some of my writing. First time sharing my poetry publically, actually... hopefully it's as good as I think it is.

I like writing in whimsical-sounding meters. They almost all have a certain bounce and light-heartedness to them, even the darker, sadder poems. They're also all very, very simple. Enjoy!

"Had I Been a Boy" (ps, never heard Beyonce's song when I wrote this!!)

Had I been a boy,
I wouldn't have any frills
My clothes would be all made
to take my childish spills.

As a girl I would be silly
to use a magnifying glass
To spy upon a little ant
and burn his little ass

And had I been a boy,
I need not hitch up my skirt
when climbing up a tree, you see
in pants it's hardly work!

Had I been a boy,
I need not sneak away
to cut my bothersome pigtails off,
and hide there for a day.

Had I been a boy,
I'd try harder not to cry
If the boys would call me sissy,
I would rather die!

But dearest, dearest darling!
Oh please hear this:
Had I been a boy instead,
I'd miss your loving kiss.

But had I been a boy,
and acted tenderly,
I might have gotten all the luck
And found a girl like me!

My Ugly Baby

I'm a jack-of-all-trades kind of artist. I love drawing, acting, writing, and of course singing and playing music. The problem I find myself struggling with today is musing over how I approach writing. Over the years, I've written lots of short stories and attempted many books. I've even written a few poems. But one piece of work that I've created always stands out when it comes to my writing: my play, 'Knights of Dragonshire.'

I wrote this in high school, and even had it performed a couple times. Since then I've re-written it, scrapped the re-written version completely, then have recently re-re-written it. And yet... I read through it, and I get mixed feelings. This play, to me, is like having an ugly baby. I love my baby, I know my baby intimately. And yet I know I'm too close to see its flaws. I know it has flaws, but I don't know how to fix them.

For some reason I began reading over it today (procrastinating on other things), and I think I've finally found myself bored with it. I'm tired of trying to improve it. It's good, but just not good enough. I'm trying to develop a new story to write, which is going okay, but I'd really like to just put "Dragonshire" to rest first. But I don't know if I can... it's not what I want it to be. And yet I don't know what's missing. It's mostly just fun characters. The story is pretty straightforward, but it's got quite a few "filler" scenes that I wish I knew how to improve. And then... oh, the over-explanation of things... how do you create a new world without over-explaining everything?

I'm sure there are plenty of artists of all kinds who get what I'm talking about. Do you have any "ugly babies?" If so, how do you deal with them?

The Dangers of Pop Stars

I'll admit right now, I'm a total sucker for pop music...

... and I'm relieved that a pop star has finally called herself what she truly is:

Pop Stars are monsters. They consume all that lay in their path. And what's scary is that those who throw themselves on said path are young, impressionable girls. Whatever these people put out there, little girls are sucked into it like moths to a flame.

Funny enough I wasn't one of these girls who got sucked into it. By the time Spice Girls and Hanson came and went, I was done. I hated N*Sync, Britney Spears, the whole lot of them. I was into musicals, and when I got to high school I was listening to bands like Counting Crows, Modest Mouse, and the Decemberists religiously. And then... Ke$ha happened to me.

"Is my love your drug?"

Starting late in college, I started tuning into the pop stations, and I was surprised to find I liked what I heard. I found myself drawn mostly to the girls. I fell in love with Gwen Stefani. Fergie dazzled me. Ke$ha was adorable... in her own drunk, crass way. It was a whole new world. Then Lady Gaga came into my life.

I actually kept up my own Poker Face for a long while, not admitting I secretly adored her. She's eccentric, she's beautiful, she's not afraid to both have fun and be talented. I finally broke and admitted to the world that I enjoy the heck out of female pop songs, with some help from the Nostalgia Chick.

But after talking with a mommy of a teenage girl about my love for Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, she got me to thinking about those mommy ears again... it got me thinking, "how would I feel about these artists when thinking about young girls?"

So I started listening to these songs with the ears of a mother of an 11-15 year old daughter. I've ranked them on a scale 1 to 10 (10 being "listen to more!" and 1 being "I will destroy any CD of theirs that comes into this house") on whether I would approve of them listening to said pop star. Please note I am sticking with what's on the radio now (or at least what I've been hearing lately)... otherwise we'll be here all night. So here we go!! Note: I've gotten a few comments that my ratings aren't fitting the text, so I'm changing a few (5/23/12).

Adele: 7
Like I mentioned before, I think Adele is superb, even if I don't care for her music personally. She's a real artist putting out real music with real passion. Her lyrics are poetic and clean of anything really objectionable. The only thing I'd raise concern over is her that she has yet to put out a positive (happy, in love, empowering, etc) song. They're all about being angry or brokenhearted. So I'd encourage young ladies to take a listen, but to throw something a little more happy in there once in a while. I also have mixed feelings about her best-known quote here. I love that she embraces herself for who she is and doesn't care what people think. However I also think it's important to both embrace who you are and take care of yourself at the same time.

Katy Perry: 3

Katy Perry knows how to put out a hit. It's brainless ... very brainless... fun, for the most part. But songs about parties, drunkenly making out, sweetly singing about teen sex? It's all that stuff that you don't exactly want being encouraged in young girls. She's got "Firework," but that just tells us stuff everyone's  already heard. Don't feel lonely! Believe in yourself!  A penny saved is a penny earned! So I'm not sure it can redeem the rest of her messages. Not a role model by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess her songs would be okay to listen to... as long as you know not to follow her lead.

Kelly Clarkson: 9

I don't know how she made a hit out of stringing together common phrases, but she did! Okay, I'll admit I like it. Fun to sing when you're pumping yourself up for something; it's like a girly "Eye of the Tiger". I have nothing to object to here, except for a lack in any real new material and any real substance... she gets a 9 simply from a lack of... anything... that's why she doesn't get a 10.

Ke$ha: 2

Argh, this woman is vile. And I love it, I think she's funny and creative.  I also think she's a truly, truly awful role model for young girls.  She's like if the show "Jackass" magically turned into a pop singer. Things to learn from Ke$ha: party in dark clubs and get slobbering drunk, objectify men, and never, ever, ever shower.

Lady Gaga: 7

OMGZ LADY GAGA!!
Her music has so much good stuff in it. Her songs are honest and real. She sings about being in love, in going over the edge, in staying true to yourself. She's also the only pop star in a long time to mention God, and in a positive light at that! She has common themes about sex, but she's not blatant about it. She can be really nutty sometimes, but there's no real harm in that. She tells girls to be themselves, and then she walks the walk.

Nicki Minaj: 2

I'm actually a big fan of hers. I love that we've got a girl rapper who really knows her stuff. She's excellent at wordplay and knowing how to mix rapping and music. As far as whether she's appropriate for young audiences well... if you hear what they put on the radio, the themes in her music are typical of pop songs today. Let's party, let's have a good time, let's flirt, yada yada yada. But then... you hear the original versions. Or what's NOT on the radio. She uses chalk full of adult language and themes. So while I would encourage listening to what she puts out on the radio, going beyond that with younger audiences should be discouraged.

Rihanna: 3
Out of all of these, this is the hardest for me to think of the music separate from the person. With the release of "Umbrella," she set herself to be pretty sweet and innocent. She soon went the way of the Britney and included more adult themes. I like her music okay. She's got some really good ones out there. But... what brings down her rating for me is actually her releasing "S&M." Normally I'd be cool with this type of song, but after going through such horrendous domestic abuse? You'd think she would've avoided a song about pain and pleasure. It gives ammo to those who argue that victims of abuse "get what they're asking for," which is totally and completely wrong.

Taylor Swift: 4

What?! Sweet little Taylor Swift gets 4?!!!

Yes, that's right. You won't get alcohol poisoning or something like some of the others (which is why she still gets a 5), but talk about leading girls astray! Songs about sneaking behind your parent's back, getting married in your teens, and going out with someone that no one likes? Well guess what? Chances are they don't like him for a reason. She goes beyond wearing rose-color glasses. She's wearing freaking blinders.  And the problem is that kids aren't warned about these things normally. They're told about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and sex. But blind teenage love? Last time I checked there's no M.A.D.E. (Mothers Against Dumb Engagements) or Love Education classes.

So there you have it! That's my rating on today's pop stars safety level in the hands of young teenage girls. Agree? Disagree? What would your ranking be? Let me know!

Song Lyrics Rewrite #2

Remember "Moves Like Jagger"? Aren't you glad that's not playing on the radio anymore?... actually it makes me kind of sad... kind of.


The lyrics always sounded confused to me. Is he trying to impress me with how he moves like a famously terrible dancer? Or is it trying to be tongue-and-cheek? Is he trying to hit on a girl, or convince someone he's more than he is.


For me, this song has always been only a few lyric changes away from being about putting yourself on the line and hoping to God you're as good as you hoped. Whether you're nervous about a job interview, an audition, or asking someone out, we all feel like this from time to time. I also have changed it from "Moves Like Jagger" to "Moves Like Jackson". You know, someone who actually has... moves... enjoy!

Original "Moves Like Jagger"

"Moves Like Jackson"

I shoot for the stars
Cuz it feels right
Please aim for my heart
If you feel like
And take me away and make it OK
I swear I'll behave

You wanted control
So I waited
I put on a show
Now I made it
You say I'm a kid
My ego is big
See I’m ready to live
And it goes like this

[Chorus:]
Take me by my tie
And I'll know you
Come give me a chance
And I'll show you

All the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

I’ll give all control up to you
Look into my eyes and I'll show you

With the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

[Verse 2:]
Baby it's hard
When I feel like I’m broken and scarred
Nothing feels right
But when you're with me
You make me believe
That I've got the key

(Oh!) I’ll get in the car
We can ride it
Wherever you want
I’m inside it
You want me to steer

But you’re shifting gears
I'll take it from here
And it goes like this

[Chorus:]
Take me by my tie
And I'll know you
Come give me a chance
And I'll show you

All the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

I’ll give control to you
Look into my eyes and I'll show you

With the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson
I've got the moves like Jackson

Everybody's a Genius... or Are They?

WARNING: This post has politically incorrect statements. You've been warned.

I was browsing failblog.org, when I came across this graph. According to Failblog, "Several years ago, a grad student at CalTech used Facebook data to gather the top 10 artists at various colleges and graphed it with CollegeBoard’s information on students’ average SAT scores at each college... The result doesn't really tell us much (correlation ≠ causation, the inherent Eurocentrism of the SATs, bullsh*t measurements of intelligence), but it’s very very trollworthy."

I will reiterate that correlation does not mean causation, but at a subjective viewpoint this does make sense. Based on simple stereotypes, we can give a brief look at this and say, "Yup, looks about right." After all, we're generally going to believe someone who listens to Beethoven to be more intelligent than someone who listens to Lil' Wayne (as I discussed in my first blog post here). But here's a question that haunts humanity time and time again... are our methods of measuring intelligence really that accurate? I argue no.

To quote Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this quote is test-taking. Those who are good test takers are considered intelligent, while those who aren't are... not. I can't help but be shocked every time I come across teachers/aids/etc. talking about a child with autism and saying, "oh, he's so brilliant!" Why? Because children with autism are generally terrible at learning in conventional ways and taking written tests, people expect them to be stupid. They expect them to be unable to read, to memorize things, to understand simple concepts. But the truth of it is, most of them are of average intelligence. It's just people's expectations of them were so low that they seem brilliant by comparison.

I know that sounds like a contradiction to title this "everybody's a genius" and then talk about how most people are average. But if I may draw a somewhat difficult conclusion based on what Einstein said, I would say this: Everybody is of average intelligence. It's just we're brilliant in different ways, which means that everybody's also stupid in different ways, which means that we're all average. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just wish we could see people for what they really are: we all have shortcomings, but also all have marvelous talents and abilities.


I may listen to Beethoven or Wagner or Mozart and tell you about how Beethoven shaped how we listen to music today, the use of motifs in an opera, to explain the structure behind a concerto and why it is structured in that manner. I've also long given up on being able to balancing a checkbook. Adam builds intricate computer projects that I couldn't even begin to understand, to program software with grace and mastery. But God bless him, he can't carry a tune in a bucket (although in his defense he's gotten much better). Did I mention he listens to country (see graph)?

Maybe this is just my way of getting back at all those tests I performed so terribly in, then getting annoyed at people calling me brilliant for being able to memorize movies and lyrics or being stunned at my creativity. I used to think, "Can the world not make up their mind on whether or not I'm intelligent?" Truth is, no, no it can't. So embrace the fact that you're average, because you're still unique.

Musicals and Desserts

With a recent overriding spark of interest in musicals, I began thinking about the different styles of musicals there are. I discussed this with Adam (also a huge fan of musicals), and we began using desserts as a way to describe musicals. So how is Julie Andrews like a cupcake, and how is Bernadette Peters cheesecake? Follow along in our adventures as I chronicle our choices for musical/dessert pairings.

In our discussion, we concluded there are 6 types of musicals: cupcakes, fruitcakes, pies, cheesecakes, flambe, and pop rocks.

Cupcake Musicals:

These are the most popular musicals. From the reigning kings of cupcake musicals, Rogers and Hammerstein, these are musicals with catchy tunes that can stand on their own. Musicals such as "The Sound of Music," "The King and I," and "Cinderella" all have songs that oftentimes appear in other places and sound perfectly fine by themselves. What makes this collection of music a fantastic musical is how the music is presented, just like cupcakes on one of those cutsie displays. Songs like "I Enjoy Being a Girl," "Getting to Know You," and "Do Re Mi" are each cupcakes on a bigger display. What, you didn't know "I Enjoy Being a Girl" was from a musical? My point exactly.

"I Enjoy Being a Girl" from 'Flower Drum Song'

Fruitcake Musicals:

As unpopular as this dessert is, its musical counterparts do quite well! These musicals are from smashing together popular songs into a musical. From the first talkie "The Jazz Singer," to the film about the first talkies "Singin' in the Rain," to the film that introduced musicals to a new generation "Moulin Rouge!," they're a mash up of various other artists into a new piece of work. It's a little lazy, it can be a bit clunky, but hey! It's a great moneymaker and it makes the masses happy to hear Ewan McGregor cover Elton John. And I bet you would've never heard of "Make 'em Laugh" if it weren't for Donald O'Connor. Which would be a downright shame, now wouldn't it?

"Elephant Love Medly" from 'Moulin Rouge!'

Pie Musicals:

Namely from the genius of Andrew Lloyd Webber, pie musicals are a thing of beauty, only complete when all the pieces put together. The story serves as a crust that holds all its juicy, delightful musical goodness into one delicious piece of art. The songs, unlike cupcake musicals, rarely stand alone. "The Phantom of the Opera," "Jesus Christ Superstar" (yes I know it's actually a rock opera, shhhhhh!!) and "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat" all have gorgeous songs that all play directly into the story. It's hard to appreciate "All I Ask of You" without "The Music of the Night," or the tragedy of "Pilate's Dream" without understand what's going to happen to Jesus and Pilate.

"The Music of the Night" from 'The Phantom of the Opera'

Flambe Musicals:

Admit it, when you get some fancy flambe dessert, you're not thinking about the actual dessert. You're thinking, "Yay, fire!! Yay, booze!!" That's exactly what Fosse's musicals do. Yes the music and stories are great, but it's really about the ol' razzle dazzle. Musicals like "Chicago," "Cabaret," and "All That Jazz" are about the dancing more than anything. The music too is brilliantly put together to be simultaneously nothing about what's going on in the story and everything about what's going on in the story. Think "All I Care About" and "If You Could See Her." By the way, honorable mention to "A Chorus Line" here... I didn't realize until now that it's NOT a Fosse musical.

"All I Care About" from 'Chicago'

Cheesecake Musicals:

My personal favorite, both in dessert and musical: these are the Stephen Sondheims. In musicals such as "Into the Woods," "Sunday in the Park with George," and "Sweeny Todd," it's all about the music. Every part is intricate to both the music and the story, from the leads to the last man in the chorus. It's rich, it's dark, it's a masterpiece. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. You oftentimes can't sing along because it's such difficult work. But by god, you still sit and marvel and the craftsmanship. More often than not, multiple characters are singing multiple melody lines and lyrics. "These Are My Friends," "It's Hot Up Here," and "Your Fault" are all incredibly feats in both composition and performance.

"These Are My Friends" from 'Sweeney Todd'

Pop Rocks Musicals:

And now for something completely different. Brace yourselves, these musicals are fun, funny, and have been known to cause embarrassing moments. Musicals like "Rocky Horror Show," "Reefer Madness," and "Little Shop of Horrors" are like comedies where people are singing... and most likely high on something or other. Stories about aliens in teddies, pot smoking parties, and man-eating plants, everything goes! There's a reason these are cult classics. They're not for the everyday musical crowd... but man they're fun.

"Sweet Transvestite" from 'Rocky Horror Show'

So, where does your favorite musical fit in? Or would you choose another dessert?